fried chickenSo, in addition to participating in the depressingly painful challenge of giving up fried food for Lent, I figured… I “midas whale” accept the No Negativity Challenge that two of my best friends decided to give a try… Why not, right? I’m on a roll already. Plus, my friends nominated me as most likely to win, so they must’ve said that for a reason… It can’t  possibly be  THAT hard.

…Can it? I mean, at least not harder than giving up my beloved fried food, which, let me tell you, has been the ultimate struggle. [sidenote: @friedfood: I just wanna say you’re mine, you’re mine – come midnight this Sadderday, of course]


Anyway, for those of you who have not heard about the challenge, it consists of the obvious—no shit talking let alone even the muttering of a single, negative word. You start off by omitting all negativity from your energy and lexicon for three consecutive days. You also try to veering away from negative words and conversations, even if that means being silent at times. Not so bad, huh? …Then 45 days… Then half of a year.


I’m tip-toeing on the start of day three… Kinda pathetic, and you probably think my word holds no weight since I haven’t made much progress but please believe, it is far harder than you can possibly fathom. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. You haven’t the slightest clue as to just how many times my patience and nerves were tested, admittedly. And of course, I was forced into contemplation…


Day 1: When I embarked on this little teaser of a journey, I had to think about my feelings. I know… What a concept: thinking through your emotions. But I literally woke up feeling like I had a new pairs of senses, not just eyes. Songs that I swore on the Book I would never jam to, I gave a second listen to. Professors that had rubbed me the wrong way all semester [figuratively for you creeps] actually made me smile and rather than me anticipating irritation, I approached these instances with a nonchalant, open-minded attitude. Which is something I pride myself on—being open. But I had realized that I, too, can slip up. For so long I had been known as such a positive person, but winter came along and I swear it just changed everything. I had not only slipped up but I slid into a funk that was contagious. I didn’t quite become the “crab in a bucket” per se, but I wasn’t my normal, love-radiating self that everyone around me, my s e l f included, loved.


So in summary? Be light. As a Virgo, we have a tendency of being too critical and sometimes, it just isn’t necessary. Especially for a free spirit. Some things just don’t matter or deserve the energy. Which thrusted me into another epiphany on the following day…


Day 2: It is so much easier to be negative than positive. Not because we are innately hateful beings. But because negative events generally have a much stronger impact than positive ones. Now before you completely lose your shit because you think I have lost mine… I want you to think about this.

–       It is easy to acquire feelings of learned helplessness from a few failures, but hard to undo, or unlearn those feelings, even with countless successes.

–       People will do more to circumvent a loss than they would to acquire a comparable gain.

–       When you hear something bad, whether true or false, about a person it is more likely to stick with you than the good news you heard more recently.

–       It. Is. So. Got. Damn. Hard. To. Bite. Your. Tongue.


You see, negative experiences and even vibes generally have had the most impact on survival. Back in the day, I mean, hunter-gatherer days, if you paid little attention to the hiccups and hang-ups, that could literally cost you your life. But that’s another story for another day… I say that to say, what you learn from negativity, it leaves an indelible trace in your brain that can determine and outline your entire present… And future.


Most of your memories are probably positive, as it should be, but that doesn’t negate the fact that our brains are literally like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. Quite naturally, negative experiences are like our brain’s greatest weakness.


Thus, our duties, as souldiers in and of love, is to not let the negative represent our inner experience and outer world. You can’t fully achieve positive vibes in your life and world until you endure and understand what it means to hurt,  so don’t let anyone tell you that nurturing your own development is selfish… Because its not. You deserve peace, and balance is the only way. Balancing the good with the bad, because both are extremely necessary. Know that self-compassion doesn’t equate to self-pity… But power. Power of the self. Because there will be times where you’ll have to swim against the currents to reach the shores of bliss + wisdom + love.


Compelled to accept the Negativity Challenge? Keep me abreast of your progress! :) We can journey together!


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Born and Raised in Wood bridge, Virginia Head Writer for Insomnia's Labyrinth

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