Disclaimer: Being the “I-will-never-call-myself-a-hipster-because-I-refuse-to-wear-societal-labels-as-shackles” person that I am… Every Thursday will be “Relationship Thursday,” sort of an Anti-Thirsty Thursday, if you will… & Fellas, this won’t always be geared towards the ladies, but you might wanna read if you care to understand the psychology behind our madness (note: I didn’t say you’d understand “us” better because I’m not really sure if that can be done). So let the festivities commence.
Let Twitter tell it… “Crazy is the new sane,” or “A crazy chick is the most loyal…”
Orrrr… It can just mean she’s crazy?
This was always my “justification.” Needless to say, I too am guilty of checking up on ole’ girl’s Twitter or IG page, admittedly though, so that’s gotta count for something, right…? Maybe I’m only half crazy because I was sane enough to ‘fess up to it? & Before you proceed reading with a face of disdain and/or judgment, don’t act like you haven’t done it either lol smh. Oh, wait. This must be you then, huh?
Because I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has stalked someone and accidentally followed them in consequence? The worst. & Although I’m not proud, I’ve even gone through my boyfriend’s phone (one time though), and not because he gave me a reason, but because of previous pain I guess I filed away to deal with at a later date. [A HUGE MISTAKE, especially because of the pile of shit you feel like afterwards] You know the saying, “Seek and you shall find…” In other words, I went looking for a problem and single-handedly created one with the only person that mattered. Despite the aforementioned, this behavior does not make you weak as some bloggers like to dupe you into believing. No, it makes you human. With that being said, it’s not necessarily healthy, nor am I condoning it in any way. There are far better ways to express your deep love and affection for your man.
But it still begs the question…
W H Y is it that when we finally find the strength to flee a train-wreck for a love affair, we seem to bring those wounds (created by someone totally different) opened and into the new relationship? My guess is? Fear— of letting go, of healing, of finally having what we want and not knowing what to do with it, of something new, of something better, of something right. What we fail to realize is our worth. & When we don’t know our worth, we don’t know what we deserve in a relationship, and what we don’t. We forget that people only do what we let them.
Moral of the story: Any variant of “stalking”—twatching, snooping, creeping—shaves off a lot of shelf-life on that magical relationship that you so desperately want to work. You’re not Sherlock Holmes. Hell, you’re not even Watson. Try channeling your cray! Forgive your last “him,” and relish in knowing his drama isn’t yours to feel insecure about anymore. The good guys (trust, there are plenty) won’t hurt you… Honor that.
You MUST MUST MUST d i v o r c e your past and marry the present if you want to have any hope for an a happy and healthy journey.