“No” Is NOT The New “Yes.”

sexual assault statsTrapped, she was. The basement door was locked and he dragged her into the bathroom where he’d bend her over and bury her face in the tile floor as he thrusted himself into her anus, against her will. Yes, even after telling him, “No,” and “Stop” repeatedly…

 

She dropped to the ground because the pain was too much to bear.

He fled… Like the coward he is.

 

 

sexualassault12Imagine your word not meaning a damn thing. Imagine your power… Your strength… Being literally and physically, snatched away from you. Now, the naysayers would love to blame her because (1) she was intoxicated or (2) she didn’t fight back or (3) he didn’t use a weapon or (4) maybe her clothes were a little too revealing [they weren’t]; but quite honestly, she could care less. What bothers me is that she is my close friend. What bothers her is that she was at the party strictly to make sure her friend was okay, and not taken advantage of… But who was looking out for her?

 

What we don’t realize… As women… We are all her. Whether we have been through it, or not. Some of us have silenced our voices because the pain is too much to actually address because our attacker took every ounce of strength that once permeated our bodies… Therefore, we are eternally grateful for people like her, who had the courage to speak up… For all.  & That alone should strengthen our bond, not just as woman, but as a society [men get raped, too] because you’d be surprised what you have in common with each other if you just open your heart a little; free of judgment.

 

“I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here. So, how can I find my way? Is there a chain saw of the soul, an ax I can take to my memories or fears?” – Speak

 

sexualassault11

 

Yet to many, rape is a just another word in our modernday lexicon, and more often than not, gets swept under the rug. But why? Why don’t we know to associate the teal-ribbon with Sexual Assualt Awareness? Why don’t we know that the month of April is devoted to Sexual Assault Awareness? Why don’t we teach our kids that, “No Means No?” So, so many questions. And in turn, there are so many answers, and statistics, that we’re completely unaware of. And in no way is ignorance ever bliss in a rape case. Ignorance stopped being an excuse a long time ago.

 

sexual assaultsexual assaultsexual assault

 

 

sexualassault7

Whether the rapist sees the woman as a trophy, or not, “The numbers are too high in order to say its just a few bad apples.” You see, rapists tend to see women as over-sexualized objects to be conquered and the media does not help. Every time you turn around, you see the media trying to urge women to attract gentleman callers. Does this make it justifiable? Hell no. Actually, this does nothing but shed light to the fact that society and parents are teaching women how to avoid rape rather than teaching men what consent truly means. [Notice how I’m not saying that men need to be taught not to rape, but what consent means because I am aware that “good men” don’t rape] But when the “burden” to prevent such a heinous act is placed on the victim and little to no action is implemented to punish potential violators, this is called R a p e C u l t u r e . Which, in other words, means that once the victim sexualassault9fails to prevent her own rape, she is held accountable which behooves the absolute FUCK outta me. Think about it… We allow these attackers to re-enter a community, simply forbidding them from being within 100ft of a schoolyard; yet for some odd reason, the rape victim becomes the black sheep. She‘s the one who is at fault and shunned. Why is that okay!? For instance, in my friend’s situation… She wasn’t his first victim. And as unfortunate as it is, she probably won’t be the last. Because between society, big universities and the government, no one really enforces punishment. You see, this guy had raped two girls (maybe more) before her and he was suspended until the girls graduated… But do you know… They let him RETURN to school, even after the fact? & He turns around, and does this. Again. In lieu of paying for him to get help that he so desperately needs, the school would rather he “pay” them to attend school here, & somehow, that would rid him of his sins. If that isn’t ass-backwards… I don’t know what is.

 

 

 

 

sexualassault3Regardless of what country you’re in, “no” actually meaning “no” …Is universal. I might be reaching here, but it seems like rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. Meanwhile, rape isn’t something a victim can just “get over.” The victim has to live with it. & No, by no means, am I advising women to play the victim. That’s the last thing I want. I just want it to be known that it would be so much more beneficial to us and each other if we could be each other’s crutches, rather than critics… That our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter, like MLK, Jr. said. Rape is everyone’s problem.  And we are the solution. Rape doesn’t have to define you… Us… Its time we cast light onto the evil shadows [and taboo] that the epidemic of rape brings.

 

Its time to Heal, Inform, and Empower survivors… And society.

About The Author

Head Writer

Born and Raised in Wood bridge, Virginia Head Writer for Insomnia's Labyrinth

Related Posts

One Response

  1. Lene

    Thank you for this blog post. It was definitely on point. I agree that we need to teach people about what consent actually is. Rape Culture is so toxic, but post like this help shed necessarily light needed for change.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.